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Recent Movie Reviews


"The News" "The News"

Rated 1 / 5 stars

A lack of anything interesting even in 10 seconds.

Sorry to say, but I think there is little that is either interesting or enjoyable about this flash. The main reason for this flash being so awful is the lack of content, and certainly lack of humour….
First off, graphics. Pretty bad and the flash wasn’t presented very well and the menu screen was just a random white scribble on a black background. The actual flash no, did not look much better; all we got was a clock, a grey background, a grey strip at the bottom of the screen and a picture in the right hand corner – not exactly eye-candy is it? I liked the classic strawberry clock look with the clock arrow next to his body, but the rest of the graphics looked very MS Painted, in fact I got the feeling that you had created most of your graphics using ready-made lines and shape tools in paint, apart from the clock there was just a straight line. Instead of just a plain grey background try to give the environment a bit more detail you need to give the flash SETTING. Take advantage of the fact that this is a news style flash, and set the background as if the clock is in a news studio, for example TVs in the background and a big title saying e.g “The Clock News”. Strawberry clock could also have some animation, he could hold some papers and straighten them on the table in front of him like a presenter. Also, instead of just a Pope picture and then a clock one in a little box, try to make more animations and give the flash a proper news setting; for example the box could enlarge and in the little screen there could be some animations of the Catholics being sad.
Next off, sounds. Probably the best aspect in the flash, but then again here we also weren’t exactly spoiled for choice. I love the funny Clock voice as usual, but I was pretty disappointed to find that the voice was the ONLY sound in the flash. A suggestion would be that if you included animations of cameras going to different places to report the news, you could have sounds such as a picture of the pope and people crying or something. Another thing you could do is to create an introduction to the flash, for example a big title of the Clock News and then a voice saying “Hello, this is the Clock Crew News” or something like that. I just feel that you lacked sounds in this, and linked with sounds this really causes the viewer to experience your work more and give the flash a little more action. Without sound effects, the action in the flash is a little ‘mute’.
Finally, content. I have to admit, a pretty disappointing aspect of the flash. Looking back to my saying the sound makes the action more apparent, well there really was next to no action in this. Not a lot happened, a clock just sat down and mentioned the pope dying and then that something ruled and laughed really pathetically. You really need to make something happen in the flash and manage to give it action in some way, I’ll be truthful, there was little enjoyable about this flash. “The News” was much too long and was even bad as a short, which its purpose is obviously meant to be. To compensate for such a short flash, you really need the short to redeem itself; for example 10 seconds of flash needs to be more interesting than 2 minutes of long flash. Humour is usually what a successful short is about and you just didn’t manage to pull this off, I wouldn’t have minded about the length if you had made those 10 seconds interesting, get-to-the-point and not a waste of my time. I also don’t really think you should be including the pope in this and then trying to be funny at the end, to be honest you completely failed in humour and I didn’t even understand what the clock was saying, it didn’t make sense and was just stupid.
Overall, unfortunately there’s really not much positive or interesting about this flash; and in the end it’s just another bad CC wannabe flash that doesn’t stand out above the rest. I hope you found my suggestions helpful. Nevertheless, good try :)

You have just been reviewed by
~T_C


biblo responds:

TOO LONG DIDN'T READ! Just kidding. Yeah thanks for the review. Yeah I didn't actually get much time to make this as I had to get it out by the end of April 1st. (he actually says "Lol, April Fool's") at the end. If you look at some of my other flashes (particularly "A Bigger Problem") you'll see that I usually put much more time and effort in.


Shoot!!! Shoot!!!

Rated 2 / 5 stars

10 seconds of amazing 3D - but should that be all?

I’m afraid that I don’t really know what to make of this. On one hand I think the 3D is nothing short of awesome! However, this is kind of pointless seeing as it is just a test and lasts about 5 seconds, and I don’t really appreciate these ‘test’ kind of flashes…
First off, graphics. This is definitely the best aspect of the flash, because let’s face it, the flash is based around your graphics isn’t it? It’s really a good job that the graphics are nothing short of amazing in this test, because the graphics just about compensates it a bit, and if this wasn’t the case the score would be even lower than it already is. Anyway, I was extremely impressed by your 3D skills, It’s safe to say that I’ve never seen anybody else on the NG do this and these are the best graphics I’ve ever seen so far! The way you turned the Newgrounds tank into a 3D model was amazing, you fully captivated the theme of what that tank looked like if it were actually real instead of just a 2D shape, the way you drew the landscape sloping down was impressive too, because it emphasised and showed off just how good your skills are and it gave the graphics an ‘angle’. At first I thought this was just a preloader, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when you actually animated the tank and made it fire a shot! I loved the way the screen suddenly zoomed out a little and this action you did have was extremely fast-paced; literally a second after clicking ‘play’ the “Fire” was yelled and the tank fired a missile. The animation was excellent and moved along with such fluency, you really gave the graphics a life-like feel to them, and I feel that this is the most realistic you can get in any flash; such as the way when the tank fired the shot the turret budged out for a split second, and the force caused the top half of the tank to lean down a little. The same goes for the second part of the flash when you click the “Shoot!!!” button to make the man fire his gun. Admittedly the character alone looked pretty amazing, again in 3D and not just facing towards you but horizontally at an angle. I’m not sure why, but objects placed at an angle always have an impressive impact on me, because it just emphasises your 3D rendering abilities even more so, and makes the flash look a little more dramatic. The character looked great as he looked a little like someone from “Half-Life”, but again it was the animation that really did it for me. What say I say? WOW! I loved the way the character was stood in the dark almost like a ‘silhouette’, because when he shot the gun the sudden lighting effect was breathtaking a section of the front of the character lit up realistically, I noticed you focused most on the face which is clever because this is the case in real life. Not only this, but you made the man’s shoulders hunch when shooting and the gun moved up for a split second which always seems to happen when someone fires a gun. The little laser from the gun was a nice little addition too, and like everything else you moved this part of the flash along effectively and fluently.
Next, sound. Not a lot to say here, as there was a lack of sound. Still the “Fire!” from the tank and the missile had a good exploding and loud noise to it, and the gunshot sounds were too very impressive because of their realism.
Finally, content. Not much to say here really because graphics is where this flash is really at. I liked the little bit of interactivity in the flash but that was it really, but I’m not sure a whole flash is worth it for this and I don’t really appreciate you making a flash just showing us what you can do.
Overall, not great as actual content but where the graphics it does something that no other flash could. I am sorry to give this an un-balanced review but it’s really just graphics that makes this flash. In that 10 seconds of flash you gave us it was amazing 3D flash, and maybe this is just a good example of how graphics shouldn’t normally be everything. Well done, hope to see a movie with this 3D :)

You have just been reviewed by
~T_C


People find this review helpful!
StealthNice responds:

WondErFul.. hehe.. I think by far you gave the most thorough review out of everyone.. I think i almost.. luv u now ;).. dont forget to tune in to the next addition.. look for it :)


Pube Muppet Meets Shit Pube Muppet Meets Shit

Rated 1 / 5 stars

The immaturity rarely pays off.

Ummm, I’m afraid I really don’t know what to say about this. The fact that this is total rubbish and is a waste of my time is one of the words that comes to mind. It’s really no surprise that this flash won turd of the eek, and that’s all it’s really worthy of….
First off, graphics. Pretty awful, the graphics were a mix between photographs and actual drawings, this is in no way a good mix and I suggest you change this. I hate those photograph cut-outs, they look lazy and a little pathetic, this shows you have made little effort, and I know I can’t enjoy the flash enough when it is clear that the author didn’t take much time and care and adopts that “can’t be bothered” attitude. The most you could do is not use these photographs, since it just shows laziness and cut-outs technically shouldn’t even be counted as ‘flash’. For example, the Pube muppet is just a photograph cut-out of Kermit the frog’s head surrounded by a few black lines. If I may ask, what exactly is that? I don’t see the point of this, and if it’s supposed to be funny it sure as hell isn’t. On the other hand, the actual flash you DID draw also looked pretty terrible and very MS Painted. Even in graphics of your own you made very little effort and supplied us with – if I may say honestly, a complete eye sore. And another thing, please choose with using either just photographs or your own drawings, it isn’t pretty not sticking to either one or the other and seeing a brown hill of MS paint looking graphics with a random squished up photo. Obviously the biggest suggestion in this flash is to take more care with the graphics.
Next, sounds. Probably slightly better than the graphics based solely on the fact that the sounds gave me a good chuckle at times, the best aspect of this flash is the humour because it isn’t good for anything else. I liked the classic clock voice of Pube muppet, and the way he ranted on in some parts of the flash, this was funny because he just talked on in that very unemotional clock voice. I also liked how the Pube muppet went really high-pitched when he insulted the ‘shit’. The voice of the shit was pretty quiet and very deep so it wasn’t very clear, if you make another one of these using that character to may want to make the voices clearer next time. I did however, feel that there was an enormous lack of sounds like graphics, since apart from the voices and menu background music that’s all we really heard. I liked the menu music but form then it pretty much downhill, the music was funny because it had a very false ‘happy’ feel to it. I suggest that you add background music in the actual sections of the flash, since just silence until one of the characters talks for a bit isn’t exactly entertaining to listen to. Another suggestion is to add sound effects, I couldn’t help feeling that you’d looked over this obvious aspect of this flash, and you missed out many opportunities.
Finally, content. Probably the best aspect of the flash, just because it was funny. I liked listening to the clock voices because they had no emotion and I laughed at some of the content of what the characters were saying, because they were so random and lame. For example I had no idea what was going on in ‘shit noise’ because the characters pretty much spazzed out and the screen looked as if it was having a seizure. The content and dialogue in this was pretty pathetic and I noticed the whole thing had a very un-enjoyable immature feeling to it. Like you used lots of reference to sex in this and random swear words, to be honest I’d rather watch something that’s boring rather than trying to be cool and have an immature sense of humour. It was actually uncomfortable to watch this and it wasn’t enjoyable at all, I felt embarrassed and sorry at all the lame words and sex phrases.
Overall, pretty much a waste of my time and another typical ‘Pube Muppet’ adventure. There’s nothing really enjoyable about this, unless you want to laugh at it’s sincere immaturity, and turd of the week is all that this flash is really good for.

You have just been reviewed by
~T_C


Recent Game Reviews


Mega Snake Mega Snake

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Snake with more bite

Haha I have to say, this is one of the most original versions of snake I have ever seen! I it when users take an old game and crank it up to be newer and more updated, and I think I can say that this game has certainly succeeded in doing that! It has a few tweaks and improvements that could be made, but not bad at all…..
First off, graphics. There really isn’t much to complain about here at all, on the whole I liked the looks of the game graphically, it seemed much more new and updated than the old version of Snake. I loved the whole look and layout of the levels, you managed to create the game to look very much 3D, even though when you look closely you se it is not. But you managed to create that illusion, and that’s what impresses me because the game looks graphically good and in some ways supplies us with ‘eye-candy’. I also that you had used what looked like a ‘rayman’ style for the graphics of the game – you collected balls and the snake consisted of a head and a number of spheres, with the spheres decreasing in size as the snake went along for that extra realism. This made the game a little less ‘intense’ like its predecessor and gave it a more happy and enjoyable mood, the looks of the snake and your surroundings gave me a chuckle a few times because the game had very much a ‘slapstick’ feel to it. However, I feel that the squares were a little too plain. Granted, you varied in the colour of squares and added in a few hazards in each level; but the basic template was still the same and I felt that each level was still in some way similar to the last. For example, how about including different environments for the game? Such as a snowy one where you travel around on ice. You could also take away the squares for an extra challenge on some levels; but I do appreciate that they help an awful lot in whether you win or lose this game, which is why you could have different surfaces but still faint squares underneath them.
Next, sounds. Nothing much to suggest here really. I loved the different music for each level, each tune had a very happy feel to it and gives off the impression that this is a game that can be enjoyed by all. I also loved the crowd sounds for when you lost or won, and also the various noises of hazards and so on.
Finally, game-play. Definitely the main cake of the game. I anticipated good game-play from this form the minute I pressed that ‘play button’ – and that’s exactly what you gave me. I was surprised to see that the game-play seemed at times a far cry from that old classic we all know; instead of that familiar ‘birds-eye’ play, you had adopted an entirely different one of travelling around a grid. This may be drawing the game closer away from it’s ancestor, but I felt that It gave the game a whole new challenge of its own and just gives that dusty old version more excitement. The controls weren’t exactly easy, but they also weren’t entirely difficult either. I like this method of moving around because it adds originality to the game, and if you took that away you would be taking away the challenge. Speaking of challenge, this game definitely has a lot of it. I was surprised at how hard the levels were, and even on the first level collecting the balls on time was hard, and also the different hazards on each level added to the replay value. I am impressed at how much you have given snake a well-needed update and yet still keeping the main game-play feel to it. I was a little disappointed that the snake did not grow after each blob collected though, and I feel you should do this just to add to the extra excitement, and the passwords were hard to remember since they were in numbers. Perhaps letters spelling out a word for each level password would be better?
Overall, a version of ‘Snake’ with more bite, originality and challenge than ever before. It’s amazing how much a game can change for the better, yet still resemble its original roots. Well done, and I hope you found my suggestions helpful :)

You have just been reviewed by
~T_C


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Frustration++ Frustration++

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Intense, but at the same time docile.

Wow I have to say, this is probably one of the most original puzzle games I’ve seen on the NG so far! I really like the fact that you have to use skill and logic for this, and that you have used Mario for a whole new purpose. Has some improvements that could be made, but not bad at all…..
First off, graphics. Not bad, I liked the menu screen and the way you had put the words “frustration” in a detailed font, it made the game LOOK exciting and therefore this leads us to feeling it as physically intense. It raised my expectations that this would be an enjoyable and fun game – and in most ways you succeeded on this. The little screen congratulating you if you beat the game was also a nice little addition. For the main graphics on-screen though, they were god, mostly bog-standard and I think it’s fair to say that graphically the game did nothing amazing. But then again, why would it need to? This is mainly a game that focuses on concentration and logic, if we are focusing on where the Marios are we aren’t going to be paying attention to whether or not this game has a fancy background or special effects. Nevertheless, if you wanted to improve graphics if you made a sequel or another version, there is always room for improvement. Apart form the many Marios all the graphics really consisted of were a few pipes and a green background – not exactly eye candy is it? Like I have said before this is not completely important but I suggest that if you want to satisfy the player just that little bit more you make the graphics a little more interesting; combined with game-play how you go about presenting your game helps to give it a mood and let the player FEEL your work more. For example, how about including a red detailed background with an ‘aggressive’ pattern on it or a picture of a brain, rather than just a bog-standard green one? This will really give the game tone and will help to emphasise the intense style of the game and to really bring out that “frustration” that the game is named after. Giving the game a more dramatic atmosphere will help put your player under pressure, and in a game like this that is a good thing to do. Perhaps though, you could give the Marios some sort of animation when they pop up and drop down the pipes?
Next, sounds. Pretty average really, I liked the Mario tune although it loops very quickly and gets repetitive after a while, so you might want to include a selection of tunes or a longer one. However, I would like to see some sound effects such as when you click a pipe and the Marios pop up or drop down, and when you win or lose the game.
Finally, game-play. Definitely the best aspect about “Frustration”, it is original and I love the way this focuses on patience and logic rather than just violence and gore. The other interesting thing is that this game is both intense, but at the same time incredibly docile. This is a lovely puzzler to sit down to, but there is that little hint of frustration that this game is named after. I feel that you could emphasise the perseverance you need by perhaps making the Marios comment in some way when you drop them down a pipe, or when they pop back up again. Emphasise the frustration of this game, TAUNT the player if they are losing, just to put them on edge and to really feel the style of this game. All-in-all though, effective game-play that has no plot and therefore has great replay value – I can enjoy this game over and over again without tiring from it, and the challenge of it made my mind physically boggle! I also like the way you type in your name and you are congratulated when you win, this makes the game feel a little more personal and satisfying when you are patient and finally get it right.
Overall, probably one of the most original Mario games I’ve seen. You could make this game a little more exciting, but it’s the subtle challenge that makes this game what it is, and reducing its difficulty would diminish that. You’re going to need patience for this one! Well done :)

You have just been reviewed by
~T_C


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MisterSambert responds:

Best review Ive ever gotten from someone on NG... Thank you for taking the time to actually make a REAL review. I really apreciate it :)


ng mario ng mario

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Feels restrained due to some letdowns

For a first flash this is not bad! It’s nice to see someone has refrained from using the typical sprites and actually created their own game using Mario and used him for their own style. Has the potential to go further though and needs some improvements, because it is a real shame that a few silly bugs and glitches let this down….
First off, graphics. Only bog-standard I feel. I liked the fact that you didn’t use a sprite for Mario, he looked good and I liked the cutesy way he scuttled along and jumped. This gave the flash a very cutesy feel to it through the way the game looked graphically, but I mean this in a good way because it gives off the impression that it is a game that can be enjoyed by all. Backgrounds looked nice and typically Mario and it was good to see you used a variety of different backgrounds to create a different ‘environment’ – each setting had its own objects to jump over and therefore each had individual characteristics. However, in some ways I really felt as if this game was presented in a rather sloppy manner, whilst I liked the backgrounds I did not like the way it seemed to move away from you when you moved at some points during the game, this pretty much meant on some levels the lack of graphics was even more apparent. I also seemed to think there was a rather large lack of graphics on our screen. One thing that stood out in a negative way was that pipes and platforms were just suspended in the air with no ground, and this seemed a little silly to me, also about the fact that some of the graphics looked a little ‘cut-out’ such as the blocks had white around their rims. You really need to breathe LIFE into the environment and give us more of a setting, a platform suspended in mid-air does not make sense. Try to make the platforms connect to the ground, and instead of just jumping around in the air make it so we can run along the ground, vary the movements.
Next, sounds. Very good I thought here, I liked that you included animations when Mario jumped and ran, they felt happy and nice. The main thing I liked though was the music, the fact that you had taken the original “Mario” tune and changed it a bit. It felt liken a sort of funky remix and got me near to dancing a few times as I was writing this! I would like to see some more sound effects such as if you collect coins and also different tunes for different levels – as much as I love it the music does get repetitive after a while.
Finally, game-play. As usual, I feel this is really the heart of “NG Mario”. The plat forming style not only feels fun but really grows on me, since it feels typically Mario. I have to say, this was pretty challenging at times and felt a little unlike Mario in some parts, there was a lot more plat forming to be had which I was pleased about – the different platforms for each level made the game interesting. However, I would like to see more action in this game such as coins to collect or enemies that can kill you, this fells a little boring in some aspects because once you’ve played one level you’ve played them all. It’s also a big shame about the bugs in the game, I found myself getting stuck on platforms and walking through them many times – this really makes the game feel more frustrating and ugly and diminished the challenge of the game. You obviously need to fix this, and also the fact that when you die Mario just yells and you don’t seem to move at all, then are suddenly dropped onto the level again. This does not make a lot of sense and so Mario should yell and try to fly or something, then drop off of the screen.
Overall, an above-average Mario game, but it’s just a shame that the sloppy presentation at times and bugs let this down. Whilst I enjoy the frantic plat forming style you seem to have adopted here; it just needs a tad more excitement to make it more enjoyable and entertaining. Well done though, and I hope you found my suggestions helpful :)

You have just been reviewed by
~T_C


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invisiblecatnip responds:

I didnt think that this game would even stay on the portal because it was a pieced together game, but I like this type f gameplay, and some reviews encouraged me to make a sequal, and I will definately remember this review